Avalon and Sayang etc.
Avalon and Sayang status update: longform complete version is on blog takingavalonapart.blogspot.com [link in bio]
Had an awful night of ill sleep yesterday night. I knew I was physically tossing and turning repeatedly and rapidly, when usually my disability means I tend to sleep in the same position all night. I even jumped out from bed in the middle of the night: I was having a nightmare but in that state of being neither a sleep or awake fully. I was worrying about Sayang.
The sleeplessness was not only over Sayang but it was one element of my waking nightmare, which made me get up to go grab Sayang from the dining area and bring her to the bedroom. I have been worrying about her.
Her "old-age" coughing has started to sound wheezy, and too much fun activity will leave her a little too tired. I have to monitor her vigilantly for now, but I need to get her to the vet sooner than later before the emergency happens and she ends up needing an inhaler, etc. but I dont have one on standby.
Since moving back to our Macpherson home, she has lost some weight, because I can't control the way her father feeds the furkids in the day, no matter how many times I typed out why and what Sayang's nutrition, allergies and eating habits are. Not only is she eating less now, her allergic reactions aren't going away, and it is even possibly related to her wheezy coughs getting worse. It was in changing household cleaning agents for my own ezcema that helped me get rid of Sayang's contact allergic reactions. But i still had to maintain her on a low allergen diet (cats have allergies usually to fish and seafood but too many brands use that as protein source, or at least for essential fatry acids like salmon oil. But the latter would be in microsize portions at least.
Even before I moved back to my flat with Sayang, I texted her father with instructions and explanations not just about Sayang's nutritional needs but also those on the use of hypoallergenic household cleaning products (ecover zero) I have bought, that helped completely wipe out her contact allergies when she lived with me. This contact allergen requests were repeatedly texted to their father after I moved in. But are not replied, even though I am always extra careful to word these texts objectively so as to not hurt his feelings and I have placed so many bottles of ecover zero multi-purpose cleaner around the house to help him with the change. I still see the wrong food in the bowls. I told Sayang that her dad will not believe me, so she should show him IRL how itchy and scratchy and thus how annoyed she feels about being itchy.
This co-parenting nightmare before also applies to the other kids. Scooter was supposed to be only eating wet food because of his urinary and kidney health, not just his age. But whilst I was unable to live with them, his father changed both his and Splotch's diet to a completely dry one. I was horrified to find this out: Scooter has had kidney failure before and tends to have urinary problems that affect the kidneys like that time we nearly lost him. The conversion to 100% wet food for Scooter was not a tentative whim and fancy. But again when I text him, objectively, about the kids' nutrition and health i am ignored, unless he can find something to weaponise blame on me or proof that I am not speaking fact. It makes no sense to any loving cat parent, not just to me, right? I don't have enough money to pay for all of them to get back on a balanced and needs-specific diet. I have paid for their canned food on my own so far, as well as cut Sayang's portion down to give some to her brother and sister: because when I asked their father to share the cost, he does not answer. I will just have to order and feed them myself for their nighttime meals to make up for what their father feeds or does not want to feed for their breakfasts. I just do my best and remain objective. Communicate the needs and see what he does or doesn't reply. Tell him thank you for telling me something important and in a timely fashion, and correct myself when objectively it makes sense.
When I say I need his help to pay for the vet expenses for Sayang (and her siblings) explaining why, based on symptoms I've been vigilant about monitoring? No reply from him telling me he will cover her vet fees.
It is highly likely that my next fundraising need that I post here is for Sayang. Thus I will keep being in a stress mode state of ill-health.
Furthermore this is about Sayang, The Original Therapy Cat ™️who inspired and pioneered our Outreach programme. She is the LKP mascot and her face is on our poster at events and on other corporate paraphernalia. She may be 13-ish years old but even stray cats with a hard life have survived for longer.
I told Sayang, who often understands what I say (evidence of her understanding what I say is through her following up with specific replies or responses through her species-specific behaviour) that after I settle my own medication costs this week, I will raise money for her and get her to the vet asap.
In the meantime I told ber needed her to do a couple of things. First, I told her she has to remain strong. Don't let 妹妹 ie Splotch challenge her leadership status and get away with that. Secondly, I needed her to come and show me her coughing, so I can monitor her, because she isnt always by my side. She often hangs out in the communal area of our home, as part of her leadership duties. Sayang responded to both my instructions. Literally right after I told her to be strong and maintain her authority, Splotch did a playful-looking half-body pounce and "hug" on Sayang. Sayang responded with both physical and verbal language saying she is still (well enough to be) the alpha-bosscat head of the family. Then she came to look for me more often, so I can do the vigilant monitoring. I did also say she needs to communicate to me any discomfort and she has been doing so as well. Observing and remembering minute details is helpful in this case.
I wish i could just go and beg on the streets to get help for her.
That's the longread version of my update for today. Thank you, friends and strangers.