No escape, no help
Let's keep this going: writing here. For the past few days, my usual escapist activities like gaming, watching TV shows, and reading, have been affected by my having varying levels of anhedonia. Even writing here and now is not a pleasurable activity for me. My brain is just refusing to allow whatever chemicals relating to pleasure to flow and work correctly.
I still feel alone and overwhelmed with the logistics of life. Like a child supposed to spend a day outside, doing what children are supposed to do, but without an accompanying parental figure and without what adults are supposed to bring along or arrange for children's days out. All I would get are verbal encouragements, which are not very practical and do not support anything for such days out.
That succinctly explains how I feel right now, and it seems no further words are necessary. How that relates to my means of escaping life no longer feeling pleasurable, I do not know. But I think trying to find that is more attainable than trying to find ability or practical help for my life, so I shall go try that.