Recently read that journalling helps with leadership development - promotes introspection. So here I am, awoken in the night, failing at resuming sleep, trying to introspect.

I have many failings. But I am too tired to work on them because I spend all my effort managing my life around managing my fibromyalgia. When my fatigue is overwhelming, I need a few days' worth of rest for a day of work. The economics of my life.

I can't help but fall short every time.

I am really tired of being on the run, chasing productivity and self-improvement. Yet I keep trying, and tire myself even more. I am simply never good enough for the standards necessary.

I won't be giving up, despite feeling this weary. I just feel I owe it to everyone to be a better leader and manager. I -will- always fall short of the standards; maybe effort alone counts too?

- there, I've just journalled.