Wednesday, March 06, 2013
the truth of the matter
Wish I could tell people the truth when I fail, that is that I didn't oblige because I wasn't able to find the strength to. No matter how piddly the task, if I can't, I can't. I lie about why; usually I say I was busy or unwell, alibis that can hardly be proved otherwise. Or else I just disappear. "Take off," is what they usually say on TV shows. How else should I explain that I was too handicapped to do something?
I am a woeful existence. I know that yes there are people worse than I am and so I should not beat myself up. I also know I should not complain and do something about it. Knowing something however does not equal energy required to do any of those aternative actions.
And if I cut myself slack, I only feel worse eventually.
- I honestly want to give up.