ready, set, sleep! all these things notwithstanding.
It's time. Time to sleep, which is never easy at night when I am supposed to. And I have no control over if and when I wake up halfway through, interrupting the entire sleep.
This is shallow.
I am tired, drowsy enough from medication, and it is late. I am writing my feelings and such, down, albeit on a blog post instead of a private diary (lost the last one). But writing, the right circumstances and all that, do not make trying to sleep less anxiety-causing for me. Only easier to execute the plan of getting self to fall asleep. zdo thi, will sleep. Do that, will sleep. It is a freaking tactical operation.
I was advised to write more, put more words into reality. So I wrote here what I am feeling this moment. Nothing fancy, just how I feel.
What else do I feel? Like a failure. Like a sub-par human being not worthy of the food I eat or air I breathe.
Ok, plan for successful sleep ─ continue with steps that follow after 'writing'.
Labels: state