Marriage is an Ecosystem
What sometimes couplehood is, is simply an ecosystem that works in division of labour, being good friends who like fucking each other. In trying to find that perfect match for me since I wrote down my List - every girl has that List - about ten years ago or longer, I realised a while back that he doesn't exist.
So we give and get and compromise. And coming to that ecosystem might be our final result. Cynical perhaps? Try dating the one who is the love of your life and the breakup will be harder than all the others. No ecosystem, no fucking of your best friend anymore. A cruel end.
The love of my life is H. Dig my archives to 2003; I started this blog for him. And I'm still here. But we wouldn't work if we tried again in another few years or similar. Because creatives can't work well together in love. Classic case Song and Kelly.
Am actually quite tired of relationship gathering, trail of memories in my wake, losing some and gaining some. Maybe I am just too eclectic a mix of character traits, dreams, personality perks that make me an unsuitable for the cult of Marriage. Maybe I secretly want to be Charlene.
Tiring also is maintaining the ecosystem of Marriage when you have so many thoughts running through your head that a blog post and a poem can't even begin to encapsulate fully.