<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d5285808\x26blogName\x3dworlds+upon+words\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dBLUE\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttp://takingavalonapart.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_US\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://takingavalonapart.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d3571675512915588525', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>
Friday, October 14, 2011


When I was sixteen I had an intense crush on a girl named JY, two classes away from me. It was purely physical, sexual attraction, for I didn't know anything about her personally. Everytime I saw her my heart leaped, and I wrote a whole essay about her and my feelings for her. On prom night, I approached her finally, to ask if I could take a photo with her. It was an orgasmic moment - she said yes, and draped her arm around me.

Physical or not, a crush is a crush, and it is like that that I described: heart racing, orgasmic, almost illogical.

I have an intense crush on someone now, and it is not just sexual, because I know more about him than I did JY; he is an amazing person. Yet it feels exactly the same, makes me feel like a sixteen year old again. Heart racing so bad, and wanting to do all kinds of things with him like I wanted to with JY.

I am a bit too old to have a crush like this and being sent sixteen years back to relive the feelings of a crush is puzzling me. Why am I having a crush at this age, and one this intense?

Yet yes, you make my heart race and I wonder: with my stature now, will I end up doing the things I want to do with you for real now that we are both adults? Wondering this makes my heart race even more.