fix

I am in a fix.

Am so poor that I might not have enough to pay the doctor tomorrow for my monthly appointment - I still owe him money from last month's bill. I stew and worry about what will happen when the clerk shows me tomorrow's bill and -gasp- lo and behold I haven't got enough. My meds are running on empty or low, so I can't not go either.

I feel so tired that I can barely do chores let alone work. The kitchen floor is strewn with stray bits of cat litter because Scooter is sick with urinary tract infection, but I can't bring myself to sweep up. I don't even have the energy to take a shower.

I have no appetite. I ate a brownie and a bowl of instant noodles for the whole of yesterday. I have been having a runny nose for most part of the weekend till yesterday. Right now I feel like my stomach is so empty I can't chug my coffee for fear I will puke.

I feel bad that I turn down my students and push my writing deadlines because I am not capable of being productive every day.

Nothing will help fix this trepidation and extreme lacklustre level of energy. Accepting this to be true makes me feel better.

worldsuponwords by avalon at 1:24 PM    [ 0 comment | ]