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Monday, October 05, 2009

spent on still waters

I have been sleeping, a lot. Days and nights. Exhausted from having to teach, and even though I did only very little housework. I am really tired. I don't know how long I can keep up having things to do every day. It is normality but it is not mine. I remember that a half year ago or so whenever I taught for half a day I needed to rest for two days. Now I think I am better than that but I still feel spent.

Right now I am nursing a cup of Earl Grey tea hoping to awake soon. Despite having slept eleven hours I am still very tired. I think about having to go teach later and I feel already a little sluggish. I also feel mentally spent thinking about all my financial debts which I cannot pay all of even with some income right now.

I remember feeling free and happy in a dream I had two nights ago: I was playing with puppies and kittens and feeling really happy because they were all really happy. The main stars in the dream were the rescued pups and kitten - Dane, Diana and Kendra - at our neighbourhood pet shop. I am glad I have my own cats and the fostered pets to give me some joy in my life.

My Earl Grey tea cup is dry, I think it is time for a coffee. And then to call my students to check if our lessons today are confirmed. And then to try to think less and just do things step by step. Like trying to walk on water - thinking doesn't help too much - but then again, you never know when the still waters turn into a squall.