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Monday, September 28, 2009

blogging, photos, fats, being sick and being well

I haven't been feeling really blogosphere-like lately. I have however resurrected my Flickr account to post more photos easily.

As for pictures of myself, I haven't been in the mood, because I am now hugely fat - even my feet are fat, and I think I have new stretch marks forming somewhere. It is due to my Remeron, not because I have been gorging myself like crazy. I have recently reduced my Remeron dosage but it seems to have little effect. But anyway, like I have said before, better to be fat and happy than to be thin and sad.

The past few days I have been down with some kind of flu, which I got from my students. It was hard, because there was no more flu meds in the house so by the time I took any I was already rather ill. I took the downtime to just sit at the computer and help my friend out with his shop's blog, but even sitting at the computer gave me body aches. I had no energy for much else. J did the housework this weekend. I still feel ill.

I think when I recover from this flu I want to resume a more regular exercise routine - right now I feel too painful to do much. For the past year I haven't been rolling out my exercise mat at all because I always felt lethargic. But strangely, I feel better lately. I am able to do more than what I used to be able to - housework and teaching, plus extras. I enjoyed seeing my doctor's face light up when he saw me last, because I seem and feel so much better. It is really a lot due to the EMDR therapy. Invisibly but pertinently it is also God's intervention.

My next hurdle would be to conquer my horrific fear of crowds. I still haven't plucked up my courage to go to church again because it is so very crowded - even the lifts have a queue outside it. I know that the day I step into our church again would be an answer to J's prayer. Slowly but surely. Right now, just thinking of it makes me freeze up in panic.