<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d5285808\x26blogName\x3dworlds+upon+words\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dBLUE\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttp://takingavalonapart.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_US\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://takingavalonapart.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d3571675512915588525', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>
Wednesday, May 06, 2009

tether

Another sleepless night. I can't sleep, the bed looks ominous in the dark and silence. The silence is deafening.

I haven't taken my meds properly for a few days, partly because I have run out of some of them and am only filling my prescription tomorrow. I also can't seem to get myself to eat them when I wake up, because I wake up in a daze, having slept badly the night before, hence I never actually wake up proper. I tell myself, it's fine, a day or two.

But no, it's not fine. I break down and cry and shiver, and I cannot sleep. And the darkness deafens me. I took an anti-histamine and a tranquilizer but it is not working as well as my proper meds should. The end of my prescription is the end of my tether. I feel like that Dave character in Desperate Housewives. "I am not feeling so well," he says, as he lashes out at Edie.

And so I accompany myself through the night, waiting for sleep to happen.

I could read myself to sleep, but I have just run out of new books to read.

Or I could just keep sitting here in the dark.