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Wednesday, November 12, 2008


It is a recurring problem. Most people's efforts at trying to cheer up people suffering from depression, usually either not work, or make things worse. So, please stop. Until you understand what depression is about, really and truly. It is a medical condition which exists biologically in the brain, marked by chemical imbalances. It is not a moment of sadness when you fail your test / break up with your lover / your dog dies.

Telling us we are 'depressing' is not helping.

Asking us to do the usual cheery things - and firmly believing these will correct the brain dysfunction, sadly untrue - such as getting a pet, growing a garden, having reunions with friends, taking up a new hobby.

Your suggestions at cheery-uppiness may not be what makes sickness better.

You have failed. Try again.

Any wonder now why I keep some friends in close contact range and avoid others?

Then again, apart from flawed suggestions that make things worse, socialising does not make me happy. It in fact is an activity of great stress for me. Thinking of going to any place with a lot of people can generate a panic attack. (Last Saturday I had a major panic attack before going to church, to the point where I kept puking non-stop thereafter, and couldn't even get up to go have dinner with J's family). Ditto most other huge events. Being with the people I love the most in my life are already draining energy out of me like crazy, even though I love being with them. Having to oblige to spend time with people who I don't love as much will entirely exhaust and break me down.

This is also why I keep contact with only an intimate circle of friends I love. My lover, my closest friends, my parents, my gaming friends.

What will work: just accept that I will be like this for a while. If I could help it, I wouldn't choose to be sick now, would I? And if you care enough, please read up on the disease.