Wednesday, August 06, 2008
I suddenly have this feeling that everything is very unreal. Suddenly I am doubting that whatever companionship I have experienced in the couple of weeks was a fabrication on my part, a figment of my imagination. I can find physical clues to prove me wrong, but I could have bought and placed those clues myself all over my room. I have a feeling I really made this guy up. Like in that Audrey Tautou movie ( was it A la folie? Pardon my French).
I am not even sure I am real. Everything seems delusional, only instead of making up things that aren't there, I am under the pretension that I am making up things that are actually, probably, really there, but I don't believe my own sense of reality. Does that make any sense?
Probably not. I probably just cannot accept when good things happen to me, I believe the bad but not the good, which is why I make bad things happen all the time, at least I know those are real.
J, you are too good to be true.