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Wednesday, May 28, 2008

hide

Thank you all for reading me.

I find myself finally, really, truly, now someone who is an open book for others to read me. I used to hide behind cryptic posts here on worldsuponwords, just so that I could hide the truth from the world and yet still write as a release and a comfort to my pain.

I had a really long conversation about myself tonight for a pair of willing ears. The void when the listener goes and leaves behind for me is a deafening silence. I no longer want to hide as much. I would rather have company than solitude sometimes.

I guess I have changed somewhat. From deliberately stressing myself out to share with my friends, to actually finding it easy to talk in a crowd again. Medication gives me the energy to do that, I do feel; it is still a main source of upping my abilities to deal with people and real life. This is progress.

Company is such a beautiful thing sometimes. Thank you for bearing with me. My past, my future. My bitching, my whining even. My fierce opinions, my cutting remarks put across as tastefully that I can. The million times I interrupt you (and this I will keep trying to improve).

The fact that you bother to listen and to read me, still, means that you care enough about this person saying these words. And for that, I love you.