Thursday, April 03, 2008
bored and lonely
I feel like I have been transported back to the time when I was about fourteen years old. I was lonely, and bored. I made a dozen phone calls a day to friends, just to chat. I watched kids' daytime TV. I felt really lonely in a quiet house with only me and my dog to accompany me till my parents came home.
Instead of Dog, I now have Slinky, and instead of living in JB, I am living where I belong now, in Singapore. But while I am in a new century now, I find myself feeling the same way as I did then - bored, and lonely.
I need to fill my day with activity, but I feel a tad lacklustre, and poor. And I have nobody to meet and nowhere left to go. I am not looking forward to tomorrow. If only it was already Saturday.
I could do many things tomorrow. But I would be doing them alone and nothing I can think of catches my fancy. It feels like I am trying to ask myself out on a date, but nothing seems to please me enough to say yes. I am supposed to find things to do that will make me happy, but for tomorrow, I cannot think of anything. The night ahead remains long. At least when I was fourteen years old, I had school, and I was capable of attending it.