<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d5285808\x26blogName\x3dworlds+upon+words\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dBLUE\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttp://takingavalonapart.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_US\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://takingavalonapart.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d3571675512915588525', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>
Thursday, February 14, 2008

bored yet scared

So anyway I managed to do a few things I haven't been doing properly:

I went out and met friends and replied text messages and answered phone calls.

I took a train ride! Although it is only one stop but I managed to do it. I felt a bit crazy doing it but I did not have a panic attack and I told myself it was okay and actually believed me even if it was slight. And I did it without Xan*ax.

I told people my problems. Let me be self-absorbed for the moment please! Sorry if I repeat stories I don't remember who I confided in and what. I am not good at this problem-sharing business still, now I just blurt out everything. Eventually I will find my place between the continuum of isolation and diva-dom.

I feel happy. Serotonin is a beautiful brain-chemical to regulate.

--

What hasn't changed:

My memory is still poor.

I am still very weak,
my hands are shivery, I can't write,
I feel tired, I feel cold.

I can't sleep well.

I still haven't regained interest in reading, gaming or writing.

I still haven't regained my appetite.

I still feel strange telling people about myself, warts and all. I feel very diva-like now and I hate it.

I still fear going back to work. Any work.

Labels: