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Wednesday, January 23, 2008

C says he is weak.

E says:

i'm sorry that i seem to be regressing. i just really want to sleep more this week becos i realise i really need the rest for my health. at the expense of other things i now realise. pls dont be upset anymore.


Weak says:

i need help also. i can't care so much


Weak says:

it's affecting me


Weak says:

i'm sorry if it seems selfish


E says:

if u really would like to stop caring about me for awhile then stop caring. i want u to be okay also.


Weak says:

maybe if i'm not around you will be spurred to better yourself


E says:

if u say that then it means u really love me


Weak says:

sorry. i don't have to mental and emotional resources anymore


Weak says:

i'm in self preservation mode


Weak says:

i don't want to become self destructive


Weak says:

it seems everytime i see you i only get stressed and upset and alot of other things... i've come to associate being with you with those emotions. that can't be right


Weak says:

loving another person isn't enough. there has to be the right fit


Weak says:

you need someone who isn't affected and won't try so hard


E says:

if u really feel this way, then do what u think is best. i care about u too.


Weak says:

if you really want to be with me, you'll work at getting better


E says:

ok i will keep working at it


Weak says:

it breaks my heart to look at you in your state


Weak says:

to be in your house


Weak says:

to be around you


Weak says:

it's not that you can't help it


Weak says:

i feel you're not trying.


Weak says:

i feel that i've become your crutch and therefore your downfall


Weak says:

if you were alone or with a less caring boyfriend i think you would have been even better


Weak says:

you would have remained independant


Weak says:

and strong


Weak says:

i am weak now.


Weak says:

my strength is gone. i need to recover


E says:

okay


E says:

i wont press u or anything


Weak says:

yep.


Weak says:

even if i never see you again. i really really hope you can get better


Weak says:

you have so much potential.


E says:

i will try to be the independent and strong girl that u like


Weak says:

just be the elaine that i first met


Weak says:

the one who takes bus to CITI


Weak says:

i don't know what else to say.


Weak says:

we shouldn't be talking right now. i'm not going to be a very good motivator


E says:

i dont care if u are a good motivator or not at this point. thats not why we r talking.



Weak says:

just get better


Weak says:

take care of yourself


Weak says:

be someone i can be proud of. even if it's only if i hear about it from someone else


Weak says:

be someone who will be able to support your parents


Weak says:

be a source of strength


Weak says:

be true to yourself. but also recognise that to do that, you sometimes need to do stuff that makes you feel otherwise. because you are doing it to obtain the mains to achieve your true goal


Weak says:

you don't arrive at the end


Weak says:

you arrive at the start


Weak says:

and walk to the end


Weak says:

remember that


Weak says:

i know i haven't been nice to be with recently. i'm sorry for that. but it's the pain and frustration bubbling over.


Weak says:

and i feel i can't be with you


Weak says:

until all this foaming emotion goes away.... and you get better.... that's even more important...


Weak says:

i just don't feel like you are even putting in effort


Weak says:

and i feel like if i stay. you will not have the motivation to do so


Weak says:

i know this sounds like a load of crock


Weak says:

but i swear it's the truth.


Weak says:

i will try to get on with my own life... you should get on with yours....


Weak says:

if we cross paths again. so be it. i won't be avoiding you


E says:

i dont feel i will get better if u are gone.


Weak says:

well you gotta try


E says:

wat is the use if u are not going to be around anymore.


Weak says:

because you got to live for yoursefl


E says:

u r the only sure thing in my life right now and even that will be gone


Weak says:

don't guilt me


Weak says:

i will not be guilted


E says:

im not


E says:

just telling u how i feel.


Weak says:

it's the problem of the chicken and the egg


E says:

ok ok


Weak says:

you get better you're not a source of pain and drain for me


Weak says:

i know this sounds like i'm fair weather


Weak says:

but i think after 3 years of this. i gotta tell you


Weak says:

i'm scared ok


Weak says:

and it's not like i didn't tough it out


Weak says:

scared for MY future and our future if we had stayed together


Weak says:

endless arguments


Weak says:

divorce


Weak says:

child with 2 homes


Weak says:

no way i'm going to let that happen


Weak says:

sorry. i've reached the end of my tether


Weak says:

anyway... i know you're probably going to see me in the worse possible light.


Weak says:

as someoen who abandoned you in your time of need.


Weak says:

i'm afraid i can't do anything about that... in a sense that's true i guess. but i can for see it will not have ended well anyway... regardless.. i'm not strong enough for your needs.


Weak says:

anyway... enough words.... take care.... make sure you eat.... and keep healthy


E says:

i will go get something to eat soon


Weak says:

good


E says:

i really love u


Weak says:

i feel the same way about you.


Weak says:

it hurts too much

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