C says he is weak.
E says:
i'm sorry that i seem to be regressing. i just really want to sleep more this week becos i realise i really need the rest for my health. at the expense of other things i now realise. pls dont be upset anymore.
Weak says:
i need help also. i can't care so much
Weak says:
it's affecting me
Weak says:
i'm sorry if it seems selfish
E says:
if u really would like to stop caring about me for awhile then stop caring. i want u to be okay also.
Weak says:
maybe if i'm not around you will be spurred to better yourself
E says:
if u say that then it means u really love me
Weak says:
sorry. i don't have to mental and emotional resources anymore
Weak says:
i'm in self preservation mode
Weak says:
i don't want to become self destructive
Weak says:
it seems everytime i see you i only get stressed and upset and alot of other things... i've come to associate being with you with those emotions. that can't be right
Weak says:
loving another person isn't enough. there has to be the right fit
Weak says:
you need someone who isn't affected and won't try so hard
E says:
if u really feel this way, then do what u think is best. i care about u too.
Weak says:
if you really want to be with me, you'll work at getting better
E says:
ok i will keep working at it
Weak says:
it breaks my heart to look at you in your state
Weak says:
to be in your house
Weak says:
to be around you
Weak says:
it's not that you can't help it
Weak says:
i feel you're not trying.
Weak says:
i feel that i've become your crutch and therefore your downfall
Weak says:
if you were alone or with a less caring boyfriend i think you would have been even better
Weak says:
you would have remained independant
Weak says:
and strong
Weak says:
i am weak now.
Weak says:
my strength is gone. i need to recover
E says:
okay
E says:
i wont press u or anything
Weak says:
yep.
Weak says:
even if i never see you again. i really really hope you can get better
Weak says:
you have so much potential.
E says:
i will try to be the independent and strong girl that u like
Weak says:
just be the elaine that i first met
Weak says:
the one who takes bus to CITI
Weak says:
i don't know what else to say.
Weak says:
we shouldn't be talking right now. i'm not going to be a very good motivator
E says:
i dont care if u are a good motivator or not at this point. thats not why we r talking.
Weak says:
just get better
Weak says:
take care of yourself
Weak says:
be someone i can be proud of. even if it's only if i hear about it from someone else
Weak says:
be someone who will be able to support your parents
Weak says:
be a source of strength
Weak says:
be true to yourself. but also recognise that to do that, you sometimes need to do stuff that makes you feel otherwise. because you are doing it to obtain the mains to achieve your true goal
Weak says:
you don't arrive at the end
Weak says:
you arrive at the start
Weak says:
and walk to the end
Weak says:
remember that
Weak says:
i know i haven't been nice to be with recently. i'm sorry for that. but it's the pain and frustration bubbling over.
Weak says:
and i feel i can't be with you
Weak says:
until all this foaming emotion goes away.... and you get better.... that's even more important...
Weak says:
i just don't feel like you are even putting in effort
Weak says:
and i feel like if i stay. you will not have the motivation to do so
Weak says:
i know this sounds like a load of crock
Weak says:
but i swear it's the truth.
Weak says:
i will try to get on with my own life... you should get on with yours....
Weak says:
if we cross paths again. so be it. i won't be avoiding you
E says:
i dont feel i will get better if u are gone.
Weak says:
well you gotta try
E says:
wat is the use if u are not going to be around anymore.
Weak says:
because you got to live for yoursefl
E says:
u r the only sure thing in my life right now and even that will be gone
Weak says:
don't guilt me
Weak says:
i will not be guilted
E says:
im not
E says:
just telling u how i feel.
Weak says:
it's the problem of the chicken and the egg
E says:
ok ok
Weak says:
you get better you're not a source of pain and drain for me
Weak says:
i know this sounds like i'm fair weather
Weak says:
but i think after 3 years of this. i gotta tell you
Weak says:
i'm scared ok
Weak says:
and it's not like i didn't tough it out
Weak says:
scared for MY future and our future if we had stayed together
Weak says:
endless arguments
Weak says:
divorce
Weak says:
child with 2 homes
Weak says:
no way i'm going to let that happen
Weak says:
sorry. i've reached the end of my tether
Weak says:
anyway... i know you're probably going to see me in the worse possible light.
Weak says:
as someoen who abandoned you in your time of need.
Weak says:
i'm afraid i can't do anything about that... in a sense that's true i guess. but i can for see it will not have ended well anyway... regardless.. i'm not strong enough for your needs.
Weak says:
anyway... enough words.... take care.... make sure you eat.... and keep healthy
E says:
i will go get something to eat soon
Weak says:
good
E says:
i really love u
Weak says:
i feel the same way about you.
Weak says:
it hurts too much
Labels: c