The floodgates broke after I wrote the last entry here, explaining my absence from real life. It made me sadder, to recollect and organise my feelings, to make them coherent for the one or two that would read them.
Now the pain still hasn't gone away. Not only am I having chest pains from sadness, tears that won't stop flowing, I also realise there are very few people who do care at all about the invisible suffering I have to bear.
Life goes on for the world as if to mock me. This makes the pain even more pronounced. It hurts so much, I have run out of words to describe it.