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Monday, February 08, 2016

Suicide watch @ Mt E

Today will be day 4 of my hospital stay. I am no longer soaking tissues with tears and the painful sadness that is depression, augmented, is back at the recesses of my library of feelings, stowed away for now. 

Like I told my doctor I don't feel 'happy' on this new med, Stablon, just - not sad. To me it is good enough. He says, "But I want you to be happy!"

I don't think it is possible. My brain is just not capable of producing the happiness feeling. I have come to terms with this probable fact.

It doesn't matter.


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