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Friday, November 06, 2015

alone in the middle of the night

My psychiatrist suggested that to combat the triggers of traumatic feelings like neglect and abandonment, I should purposefully cherish the alone time and do things that are enjoyable alone.

I don't believe it will help when I am deep in a meltdown. But I didn't get a PTSD breakdown when I awoke at past one o' clock so here I am, awake too early and aside from some browsing, I have been doing work. The quietness of the night at this time is optimal for strategic level planning, emailing, scheduling social media posts.

But I got a headache from trying to read small words on screen; with or without glasses on. So I will stop a while.

It is quiet, humid. I do enjoy this alone time. But also, there are no triggers. So, obviously I am not melting down. Maybe the extra meds I am currently on have helped.

I might continue the night working or reading, or take more meds and go back to sleep. Whichever it is, I know for sure that - being alone - in itself is not the trigger.