Friday, April 17, 2009
today's activity log
Every activity of every one of my days requires effort more than should be necessary. There are some things I find myself unable to do, having to coax myself out of the stress of having to do something, and that itself takes up a lot of time.
So I am going to try and congratulate myself on small activities I manage to get myself to do. This is what I have done so far this morning:
ActivityThis morning I managed to make myself a cup of coffee when I woke up.
OutcomeThe coffee was nice and it took me less energy than it had for the past couple of days. I managed to make it without having to hesitate or lie in bed to psyche myself up for it. It came as second nature.
ActivityI made myself a simple lunch of eggs, ham and bread.
OutcomeIt was nice and easy to make, I managed to do it without having to hesitate. But I still cannot bring myself to do the dishes nor clean up afterward. It seems so hard.
Here are the things I plan or need to do for the rest of today, and the stress and pleasure I perceive to gain from them.
Brushing my teeth - Perceived stress
5/10 - Perceived pleasure
0/10Taking a shower, includes washing my hair- Perceived stress
5/10- Perceived pleasure
0/10Getting dressed, including skin care and make up- Perceived stress
7/10- Perceived pleasure
3/10Teaching, includes packing bag, taking cab- Perceived stress
10/10- Perceived pleasure
5/10Talking to my students and their parents- Perceived stress
9/10- Perceived pleasure
5/10Hanging the laundry- Perceived stress
10/10- Perceived pleasure
0/10As of now, I feel quite so frozen in place I cannot bring myself to do these things. Even though I have to and time is running out. I don't know how I am going to get through this day successfully.